Treating Adult Children of Narcissists

NPD and other personality disorders require mental health professionals to look at long-term patterns of functioning. They control and manipulate their children’s needs, feelings, and choices when they can, and take it as a personal affront deserving of punishment when they can’t. Parenting is often “my way or the highway.” Self-involvement leads some narcissistic mothers to focus only on themselves or their sons, and neglect or deprive their daughters. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and alcohol use disorder (AUD) are closely linked and can occur together as a dual diagnosis. NPD increases the risk of alcohol abuse as a means to escape difficult emotions.

1. You had the impression that they only loved you when you PROVED your worth to them.
2. Recognizing these links traits may enable individuals to seek appropriate help in managing these conditions.
3. It is through the process of interaction with a caregiver capable of understanding and reacting reciprocally to the child’s behavior that the child gradually develops emotional self-regulation functions.
4. Never knowing when your mother would be decent or hostile, you walked on eggshells, and your radar on others’ emotions is finely attuned.

This process of exploring the narcissistic actions of your parent isn’t done to condemn them or to victimize yourself. We are here to provide assistance in locating an Ark Behavioral Health treatment center that may meet your treatment needs. However, it is more likely that the alcoholic is trying to surround themselves with others that support these extreme drinking habits. Individuals with a NPD feel they can only be understood by special people. They take advantage of others, especially to accomplish their own goals. These individuals have a lack of concern for the well-being of others or how others may be affected by their actions.

Rediscovering Self Through Support and Healing

In response to my expressed concerns about the damage that such treatment conferred, she would immediately rush to disavow the reality or importance of what she had just shared. ‘If you can, access therapy, but ask the therapist if they understand emotional abuse and narcissistic parents so you don’t have to explain everything to them’, says Helen. When people have a mental health condition that co-occurs with a substance misuse disorder, such as AUD, doctors may refer to this as dual diagnosis. It is common for personality disorders to occur alongside AUD.

Where to Find a Support System

In other words, you were told by your parent/s, “Don’t leave me. I can’t live without you.” This made it impossible for you to live an autonomous life or establish independent priorities other than catering to the needs of your parent/s. The first alcohol intoxication step in healing this soul loss is to be willing to explore what you went through as a child. Soul loss is the inability to contact or experience our souls due to the unresolved wounds, traumas, and fears we’ve accumulated over the years.

You Don’t Outgrow the Effects of an Alcoholic Parent

She often had a sense of not existing, or not deserving to exist, at all. Many parents have certain hopes for their children, says Bly. It’s natural for parents to feel a little disappointed if you take a different path — but they should still respect and accept your decision.

Narcissistic parents tend to be overly intrusive and rely on their children for validation. I’m certain I “grew up” with a borderline mother and a NPD step father. Needless to say I had a bullseye on me 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. I’ll say this, I’ve come to the realization I will never have what’s considered a “normal” life.

These behaviors are also seen in people with alcoholism (also known as a severe alcohol use disorder) and drug use or substance use disorders. There are no medications to treat NPD, but if you also experience depression or another mental health condition, a doctor may prescribe medications to treat the other condition. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 22.6% of people with a personality 50 substance abuse group therapy activities for recovery disorder also have a substance use disorder (SUD), which can include alcohol use. For example, in Kathy’s case, she recalled being a good student but receiving little acknowledgment when she brought home her grades. This type of invalidation continued into her adult life, with the result that Kathy had largely given up trying to share her current life and career successes with her parents.

You learn to be helpless and start believing that this curse is your destiny. These trauma responses are so deeply embedded within you, they act on autopilot. You’re likely to be this way in other relationships—and you’re hypervigilant for any time you may get into trouble, always in a state of anxious watchfulness. This severely depletes your energy levels and health over the long term.